Blog

Her First Day (Mother’s Day)

Mother’s Day is right around the corner, so it only seems fitting that I should write about women in today’s fire service. I don’t know about you, but I can’t advise messing with someone who can both endure childbirth and swing a halligan. Cheese, light-hearted humor, mild controversy, and hard truths are all present and accounted for in my bag of writing tricks this morning. Let’s begin…

You walk through the front door of your local fire department on your first day on the job. You’ve dreamt of this very moment since your dad took you to see ‘Ladder 49’ as a little girl. The bay smells like diesel exhaust and various cleaning products, and the dining area smells of coffee and fresh kitchen table BS. Yes, this is exactly what you had hoped it would be like. A crisp blue uniform and black boots with nary a scuff or blood borne pathogen to be found on them.

You went to fire school and raised ladders, humped hose, slayed simulated dragons and dragged rescue dummies (some dummies even had pulses). You attended EMT classes and had your Hollywood expectations of life-saving heroics demolished, just like all that came before you. You’ve waded through interviews, physicals, psych evals and polygraphs to earn a chance here.

Your dad gave you parting advice as you left this morning; “You’re the new guy. Be seen and not heard, always be the last to eat and the first to wash dishes. Pay attention to your LT. Love you.” Some of the guys seem distant this morning, others, jovial. The coffee must not have kicked in yet.

Your gear is issued, and you get to work.

Fast forward to one month in; You’re growing as a firefighter. The things you learned in class are finally starting to make more (or less) sense, but you still feel out-of-place. ‘Maybe it’s me,’ you’ve asked yourself once or twice. Most of your new coworkers are genuinely good guys, but a select few either treat you like a fragile porcelain doll or a hindrance that they must bear the weight of for 24 hours.

You’re becoming increasingly agitated by romantic advances from co-workers and have even heard rumors swirling about your involvement with several of the guys from other shifts. True or not, why is this news any of their concern?

There have been grumblings from out of shape firemen about your physical ability to do this job. Despite passing all of the physical requirements and being able to stretch an SCBA cylinder to its very limits, you still catch shit from a guy that perspires at the mere mention of physical exertion.

“I weigh 300lbs; there’s no way she can drag me out of a fire!”

‘So, don’t weigh 300lbs,’ you think to yourself. A lack of dietary self-control on his part has somehow morphed into a negative remark about you. Is this guy for real?

There are plenty of other whispered criticisms; she’s a distraction, some jobs are better left to the men, she only got hired to boost diversity numbers, etc.

What gives?

This isn’t what it was supposed to be like.

Why do you feel like an outsider, the constant third wheel of the firehouse?

You were told this would be the beginning of the best years of your life, working alongside people who will become like family to you. If any of this was indeed true, you are off to a slow start…

Sparing my dramatic liberties, this is what the fire service might look like to your female coworkers. Hopefully, the overwhelming majority of women reading this are scratching their heads, having never encountered this kind of issue at work. I sincerely wish for that, that all of this was simply make-believe. Unfortunately, we know that more than a few will relate quite well. On a more somber related note, a female firefighter recently committed suicide. Her actions are believed to have been sparked, at least in part, by workplace harassment. She was the topic of crude online comments, rumors, and stories. The information that was uncovered during the investigation will leave an ugly scar on the department forever, regardless of its role in her choice. Suicides rates are statistically higher in public service careers; this is not disputed. Did her “brothers” throw gasoline on a fire that was already burning hot enough on its own? Given this knowledge, any excuse you might have for the kind of treatment faced by our fictional firefighter described at the outset of this discussion is a bad one. Don’t be an ass.

How long has this gone on? I don’t know. Probably since the first woman picked up her first ax on her first horse-drawn, steam-powered fire engine.

The first known female firefighter in the United States was Molly Williams (per i-women.com Terese M. Floren 2007), a New York City slave who became a firefighter with Oceanus Engine Co. #11 in 1815. The first paid urban career female firefighter in the United States? Sarah Forcier in Winston-Salem, North Carolina in 1973. Women have been “Doin’ it” in the US of A for over 200 years, but it is still news when “insert name here,” Texas Fire Department hires their first female employee.

The reason is clear; this has been a boy’s club for generation after generation, and some opponents of change are being dragged into 2017 kicking and screaming. We all have worked with, met or know of one of these guys. Don’t play dumb. Hell, maybe you are that guy.

Ask yourself what your department looks like through the eyes of your female co-workers and their families. Why stop there? These same arguments can be made by anyone that feels disenfranchised by public service. The topic may be Mother’s Day-themed, but the message is about common decency.

So, is your department or shift one that makes them go home and tell their families about the great group of brothers they work with, or one that makes them go home and question their career choices? I have a wife. I claim sisters of the blood, marital and fire service variety. I have a mother, aunts, grandmothers. I have a daughter (love you, kid, if you’re reading this someday). If they were to follow me to work one day, would they approve of the way I treat my sisters in service? I like to think they would. Would yours?

There’s a fine line to be considered here. The line between making someone feel like a welcome member of the department, and treating someone differently in a way that makes them feel like an outsider. The line between innocent fun and downright bullying, between including them in questionable (see; fun) antics and being overprotective. If you must ask yourself if your department falls over the line, it’s probably time to change the culture of your department. The women I have met doing this job have no interest in special treatment or coddling. In fact, nearly all just want to be “one of the crew.” Nothing more, certainly nothing less. Many of them may not even like that I am writing this piece because in perhaps the very truest of firefighter fashions they don’t want to draw attention to themselves.

“I’m not changing the culture of my department, there’s no reason. They joined us, we didn’t join them.”

In the words of Maya Angelou; “if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Folks, the time has come to change some attitudes. To provide a pleasant nudge in the right direction, here are a few guidelines to aid in your future decision-making processes. These guidelines can apply to almost all of life’s situations, I have found.

-If it wouldn’t be funny to be said about (or to) your little brother or sister, it probably won’t be funny about (or to) most of your co-workers.

-If it would be embarrassing to have your family overhear you speak that way about someone, don’t speak it.

-If it feels wrong, it probably is.

-Always assume your mother is creeping just over your shoulder, ready to pounce and twist your ear while dragging you off-screen (using your FULL NAME, of course).

-It is possible to be both a brother and a gentleman.

-You don’t get to decide what should and should not be hurtful, offensive, or irritating to another. This is a tough concept for many to grasp.

To bring it all home, let’s talk about how this affects me because that’s what’s really important here, right?

It’s a hurdle I’ll never have to worry about jumping, so why even drag it out and open myself to (mostly) good-natured heat? What, if anything, do I stand to profit?

I have skin in the game. I’ll explain;

Someday, my daughter may decide to follow in my footsteps. I genuinely hope that she inherits her mother’s brains and grows up to become a rocket scientist, but I won’t stand in her way. I do worry about what kind of legacy we might be leaving behind for her and others; it doesn’t seem fair that she should have to inherit our messes. “Painful” might not be a strong enough word to describe how it would feel to watch one of my children struggle against antiquated typecasting that I had a hand in cultivating, whether by indifference or otherwise. Lastly, my daughter will inevitably run into coworkers of mine, both past and current, if she decides to enter public service. What might they have to share about me, what kinds of stories do I want to be told about me to my offspring? Will they reinforce her (hopefully) cherished memories of Firefighter Dad, protector, and friend, or will they tarnish them?

Will she be forced to question which man was the real me, “Work Dad” or “Home Dad?”

It’s up to me, I suppose.

Yours is up to you.

Happy Mother’s Day

– Randy Anderson

 

Blog

Get Over Yourselves!

Rest Easy Sister Nicole Mittendorff

As most of you have probably heard, there is growing evidence that the death of a Virginia female firefighter may be the result, in part, of bullying by fellow firefighters.

If that turns out to be true, then it is scary, sad, and shameful to all who bullied her and the profession. There is no reason for it! If it turns out not to be the case, we should not dismiss the subject. Instead, we should have a very clear and lengthy dialogue about the subject of bullying and the treatment of, not only to females but anyone who doesn’t fit the “mold” in our department.

ffr-3As a former Fire Chief, I ask myself, “Why does it have to be that way?” I have witnessed first hand what female firefighters go through, and I took swift action in cases involving my department. However, I have close friends that are female firefighters, and I hear about the terrible things they go through. They continue to be bullied or simply treated much differently because they aren’t male. It’s absurd, and needs to be addressed. The problem in most situations is that the department leaders are part of the problem or that are too inept as leaders to handle it. The leadership in a lot of departments are part of the “old order” in that they think a female’s place is to be an auxiliary member, a supporting member, a secretary or in the kitchen making sandwiches. They don’t believe or understand that female firefighters are capable of doing this job and doing it well!

An article by CBC News Canada notes that almost every female firefighter in Canada has been bullied in some form or fashion. I would argue that the same goes for the U.S. The opportunity for this type of situation to happen is staggering, and it needs to be addressed at all levels. Verbal or sexual abuse/harassment and hazing are just a few of the most unprofessional forms of mistreatment that are found in the fire service. Why, if we are the professional firefighters or leaders in the community, should we even consider putting up with that type of activity? Are we turning a blind eye to it like we do other things? Are we saying that it’s not our problem? Or are we telling ourselves that it’s not happening or won’t happen in our department? All of those things may imageshelp you sleep at night but they are the coward’s way of handling the problem, and they will not promote any real progress on the issue.

So what can we do? Let’s mull over a few things and see where it takes us:

  1. Promote a dialogue: Your female firefighters may feel that they are unable to talk to you directly because issues should be brought up the chain of command. This issue is of such great importance that it needs to be addressed by you directly. Keep in mind that some of your command staff may be part of the problems, so give your firefighters an opportunity to bring their issue to you.
  2. Give them some immunity: Your female firefighters should not have any fear of retaliation or disciplinary action for revealing to you that they are getting harassed. They need to know they can count on you to help them, just like you would help one of their brother firefighters.
  3. Know when to remove yourself: If you are part of the problem then give them an avenue to talk to your boss. You were man enough to be part of the problem, so take what is coming to you. If you are that worried about your career, then you shouldn’t have been a part of the harassment in the first place. Real leaders recognize that they have made a mistake and deal with the consequences. If you are protecting the harassers, then you need to go down with them. You are a cancer on this great profession that needs to be removed.
  4. Support them as much as you can: When a female firefighter comes to you with a harassment complaint, give them all of the support they need. They may feel like they are on their own and them knowing that they have at least one person in their corner gives them the courage to fight for what is right.
  5. Make their options clear to them: Make sure they know what steps they need to take to bring a resolution to their situation. Most agencies have a policy for harassment, so make sure they clearly understand what that policy is and how to make their way through it. Make sure all the proper steps are followed. You don’t want to be the reason there was a failure to resolve their issue. You should know the policy better than anyone.
  6. Don’t judge and don’t be an a**hole: The issue they bring to you is very real. Try to look at it from their perspective and try to understand what they are feeling. The issue at hand may seem trivial to you, but it is important to them. Don’t be condescending or tell them to, “Suck it up; that’s the way it is in the firehouse!” They are most likely describing the tip of an iceberg in your department. If you investigate, you may find that you have a much bigger problem. If your first instinct is to try to hide your findings or dismiss the issue, then you should resign immediately because you don’t deserve to hold the position you have in one of the greatest professions on earth, you COWARD!
  7. Be the face of change: If you find yourself and your department in the midst of a bullying issue, be a true agent of change. Take all of the steps necessary to fix the problem. That may mean that you need to take disciplinary action against or terminate your “buddies”, but you need to do what the taxpayers pay you to do. It is YOUR responsibility to make it right! NO MATTER WHAT THE COST!

One of my favorite Lieutenants was a female. She taught me a great deal about this job and how to do it well. She was a role model of how to be a good leader. We had many discussions about being a female in a male-dominated profession. She didn’t take any crap from anyone and admitted that it was never easy. “Sometimes you need to be more of a man than they are,” she would say. I znyK.So.79found it humorous at the time, but it made sense. She had to teach quite a few firefighters how to be men and how to do this job. She knew that some of them were scared to work with her. She would show them that the job could be done and how to follow a female leader.

I am sure that most of you know a female firefighter and have heard about what they go through. Someone very close to me is a female firefighter, and she has dealt with harassment for many years. Most of her department leaders have brushed off her complaints as “business as usual” in the fire service. Subsequently, she is looking to leave this line of work. She is tired of the macho neanderthals treating her like a second-class citizen even after she has proven herself to be a good (if not better than they are) firefighter. It is sad to see it happen because she had a real passion for the job that got snuffed out by weak Chiefs or department leaders who didn’t have the stones to take on the problem. I wonder how many other great firefighters have given up and left the business because of bullying.

So what are your thoughts? Do you have the ability to see a problem and fix it in your department or are you among those who take the cowards way out and ignore it?

Talk to your female firefighters about bullying. You will be surprised what you hear!